LitIsh Facebook Follow LitIsh on Google Follow LitIsh on Instagram Follow LitIsh on Twitter Subscribe to Litish on YouTube Follow LitIsh Live on Periscope

Beneath My Smile Sharing Love, Peace & Happiness by Anna Bella


Disaster offers the opportunity to reinvent yourself by changing what’s not working in your life. Sometimes this behavior arises from desperation, sometimes from optimism that things will get better. Anna Bella’s journey took her through heart-wrenching events: the breakdown of her parents’ marriage, being kidnapped by one parent in order to punish the other, childhood sexual abuse and neglect, complications giving birth, and the development of her career. Her life has rolled through cycles of hope and disappointment, chasing the deep desire to find love and stability. Anna Bella learned to balance optimism with realism, and now shares her hard-won wisdom in her new book, Beneath My Smile. By writing out her tribulations and wry observations on human nature and relationships, Anna Bella rises above negativity to uplift both herself and her audience.


Chapter 21

A Work in Progress: My Quest Continues

“Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin. Beginning

makes the conditions perfect,” said Alan Cohen. I ponder this

as I seek to move forward in a new direction.

Over the years I have questioned myself many times about

why I continuously and knowingly make such mischief. The

answer? It’s all to compensate, to fill a void, I guess. But one

thing I know for sure: in my search for love, freedom, and

peace, I need to love myself unconditionally first. As part of

this process, I must first admit that I have been my own worst

enemy, consumed by fear, doubt, despair, disappointment, and

lack of trust.

Many times in my life I have lost faith and trust in people

and have questioned why God would allow certain things to

happen. After all, I treated people as I wanted to be treated. You

know the old adage, “Do unto others as you would have done to

you”? Well, for whatever reasons, the love I demonstrated was

never reciprocated.

I realized I had to fix it myself through therapy, yoga, self-care—

whatever it took. Expecting happiness to come from

someone else is most often inconsistent, temporary, and unreliable.

And so I decided to reset the GPS of my mind, heart,

body, and soul.

I was never satisfied with the status quo and continuously

made attempts to change my thought process to foster a more

positive outlook. I choose to do this now. I believe that we bring

to fruition our deepest fears through our thoughts. If I am to

find love, freedom, and peace, it starts with me making better

choices and thinking positively, replacing the negative energy.

I want to taste the deliciousness of my truth. I’m aware once

I start living my truth and making the necessary changes there

will be some repercussions. So let me say this: From now on, I

will not apologize. Looking at my life in retrospect, I realized

that I’ve come a long way. Many would expect, based on my

history, that I would’ve been an alcoholic, a drug addict, or dead.

As I try to come to terms with my past, I am aware of how

much I have grown, and can see the strength that I possess. I

don’t know what’s in God’s divine plan for me, but I will continue

to be the best I can be while enjoying life to the fullest

without any more regrets.

As beautiful as the lotus emerging from the depths of

murky, muddy water, I too have emerged from the parched

and unnourished cracks of my past, determined to continue to

grow. I refuse to be consumed by the atrocities of my past in my

search for love, freedom, and peace.

In the same way I sat upon the roof of the funeral home

many, many years ago, listening to the song of the corn bird, I

lift my face to the star-lit sky and hear that song once again—

but now, that peace-giving melody emerges from within the

depths of my own soul.




spent her formative years maintaining her faith and hope in the good things to

come, despite enduring difficulties and discouragement. After migrating to the

United States in 1987, she connected with extended family, made a variety of

friends, and attended high school. Marrying at an early age, she courageously

relocated to Florida in 1995, with periods of her life spent traveling back and

forth from New York. Always interested in bettering herself and being financially

independent, she obtained her BSN and AA degrees and dabbled in an

embalming course.

This surgical nurse is a lover of the arts, an avid reader, a passionate writer, a

hopeless romantic, and a mother of four. Though she has always worn rose-colored

glasses, she has learned through trial and error to balance optimism with

realism, and sees the world with ever-growing discernment. She enjoys dancing,

experimenting with multicultural cuisines, and spending time with friends.

Though she can be very serious, she loves to laugh and make others laugh along

with her. By writing extensively of her life’s tribulations and wry observations on

human nature and relationships, Anna Bella rises above negativity while uplifting

herself and her audience


Find the book and author:


The following web links can be accessed from my website. (Except Goodreads)






Get the book:

Leave a Comment

Sign up to stay in touch!

Thanks for your interest in joining the Lit Ish mailing List. Send us your information to stay informed on events, savings, book selections, current events and much more!!! Sign Up.